tide

In a testament to the decline of society, late last year, people began eating laundry detergent in the form of Tide Pods in some desperate plea for attention and posting videos of themselves doing so online. Sadly, it appears that people will go to great lengths to achieve YouTube views and social media likes—even if it kills them.

Now, instead of realizing the underlying problem in society that may be causing this issue and perhaps pushing this topic of conversation to the forefront, the nanny state is stepping in to attempt to regulate this depravity out of existence. How does the state plan on quelling the asinine ingestion of dangerous soap? By punishing the manufacturers, of course.

According to the government, people are eating Tide Pods because they look so appealing. While it is true that many of the people who’ve gone to the emergency room for eating Tide Pods have eaten them accidentally, making them less “delicious looking” is hardly a solution. How about parents read the label that says “keep out of reach of children”?

Apparently, reading the label is too difficult and we need the all-loving state to step in and save us.

Assemblywoman Aravella Simotas and Sen. Brad Hoylman of New York proposed a bill Tuesday that would require Proctor & Gamble to individually wrap each pod and add warning labels to them, reports NBC New York.

As TIME reports:

The lawmakers also want the pods to be made less colorful, claiming that their bright colors “can make them appealing to young children, adults with dementia, and those looking to take part in the internet trend known as ‘Tide Pod Challenge.’

Answering back, Proctor & Gamble weighed in, noting the impact the extra packaging would have on the environment. According to the report:

That said, don’t expect a change anytime soon. Proctor & Gamble responded to the lawmaker’s request by saying that additional packaging would cause a tremendous impact on the environment without actually preventing ingestion by children. It went on to say that studies show that colorful packaging does not increase the likelihood that children will ingest dangerous products.

By the state’s logic—or rather, lack thereof—nothing should be visually appealing as it could lead to children and internet fools eating it.

Strangely enough, this is not the first time lawmakers have said that the laundry detergent looks delicious and tried to regulate it. As TFTP previously reported, when Tide Pod consumption first became an issue, Senator Charles Schumer of New York gave a press conference demanding that The Consumer Product Safety Commission crackdown on detergent companies who use colorful “pods” for their soap. Schumer said these pods are tempting for children to eat because of how they look. He then admitted that he has wanted to eat tide pods in the past.

“The incidents are skyrocketing, these pods were supposed to make household chores easier, not tempt our children to swallow harmful chemicals. I saw one on my staffer’s desk and I wanted to eat it,” Schumer said, adding that, “I don’t know why they make them look so delicious.”

Schumer said that he is not interested in flat-out banning the pods, but says that further regulation is needed.

“We don’t want to throw out the baby with the detergent water,” he said.

This press conference happened before the trend caught on, back in 2012, and was directed more at children than teens, but these comments are still relevant to the discussion, as politicians are renewing calls for regulation. These comments also seem even more ridiculous in light of people eating these pods intentionally.

Dr. Rais Vohra, a medical toxicologist at UCSF Fresno, told CNN that the pods can burn a person’s insides.

“They can cause burns in the mouth, if the liquid bursts open and goes in the back of the throat, they could cause burns in the back of the throat which would necessitate an ER visit or even ICU admission,” Vohra said.

In the twenty-first century, truth has indeed become stranger than fiction. Not only have people begun to eat soap for attention but it’s become such a terrible problem that lawmakers are proposing legislation to fight it. The Idiocracy is upon us.

Matt Agorist is an honorably discharged veteran of the USMC and former intelligence operator directly tasked by the NSA. This prior experience gives him unique insight into the world of government corruption and the American police state. Agorist has been an independent journalist for over a decade and has been featured on mainstream networks around the world. Agorist is also the Editor at Large at the Free Thought Project. Follow @MattAgorist on Twitter, Steemit, and now on Facebook.